Velocirooster @Theropologist@wafflec.one

Pride is almost over, next month is Greed

I would not be a teenager again for all the money in the world though. Nooooo way.

Across the Pants-iverse

Fake Plastic Pants

You know that moment when you're having an argument with your family and you realize that they're actually sort of right and at that exact moment the hill you will die on manifests before your eyes

Can someone just put me in like, a big The Truman Show style enclosed area where I can just make mistakes until I eventually learn from them, but also I don't ruin my life or anyone else's as a result of it

i don't know what things are

quailcomm

*smiles wetly*

(on the moon)

Neil: What if we Jacked?
Buzz: Please don't, Neil... not here...
Neil: What are they gonna do, call the fuckin cops?
Buzz: Ok ok, let's just get it over with quick
Neil: Roger that

oh right, CW on my last toot for astronauts jacking

My life is at the point now where I don’t even bother to check for cat hairs before eating potato chips off the floor.

I'm an influencer on Instagram. Here's one of my beach photos:

Instagram is where I tell millennials to buy my mouthwash, or else they'll die alone

[goldilocks drinking a cup of bees]
“...and this is too spicy