Excerpt from my rejected romance novel:
...as their slippery worm lips writhed against each other, making a sticky slapping sound like old meat being thrown into a dumpster, his member swelled like a giant overengorged tick, full to bursting with the hot metallic tang of lust...
Similes are metaphors for cowards
When I die, burn me on a pyre of all the unread issues of the New Yorker I've been meaning to get to.
I was shunning Alan Dershowitz before it was cool. I never called that guy once in 37 years. Not even on his birthday.
Baby stuff Show more
Photo by: blair25 [Attribution License]
https://www.flickr.com/photos/blair25/3239482745/
The cyclops had his eye on a new corrective lens, but he didn't want to be seen making such a spectacle.
[extreme Macho Man Randy Savage voice]
You gotta separate your glass from plastics, brother
I'd rather jump in a pool of flaming hot lava than organize anything.
Once in a Lifetime except it's sung by Jerry Seinfeld
Girl, you look like you're about to go in for the hug, and I want you to know that I'm down with that, but before you do I gotta warn you. I'm not like those other guys who hug like a floppy piece of salami flapping in the breeze. When I hug you, you stay hugged. Cuz I hug tuff.
Listen up kids you need to stop liking all that dumb crap you're into and start liking all the cool "classic" stuff that old assholes told me was dumb crap when I was your age
And by the time their children are grown all popular entertainment will solely consist of various timelines from the Full House Expanded Universe
So in 20 years will they be rebooting the rebooted shows from the 80s and 90s to sell nostalgia to the middle aged people who fondly remember the shows from their youth that were just shows from the 80s and 90s rebooted to sell nostalgia to middle aged people?
All these leaves think they're hot shit now, but one of these days they'll get theirs. Mark. My. Words.
if you ever feel too confident in your understanding of the world remember that sometimes the sun will just make a noise and we don't know why
oh man when boys noize and erol alkan released a vinyl for their song "lemonade" they made it a picture disk and made it look like a cdr
except its a normal sized vinyl so its a HUGE cdr, look at the fucking size of this bastard holy shit
like imagine if you could 'copy' a 'folder' to the 'clipboard' using a 'mouse', and then 'paste' that folder into another folder, and it just.... did it.
Without a whole bunch of 'hur dur I can't copy this file because it has a character in the name' or 'this folder has Too Many Folders Inside It'
Radical idea:
A computer that can copy files
how can filename be invalid if filename... exists