Pinned toot

The end is extremely nigh. I'm killing this instance this weekend. I'll be over at @probgoblin from now on.

My favorite part of bad sci-fi procedurals is when they stumble across a body that is all jello and exposed bones, kneel down to examine it, and look up to concernedly say "He's... dead!"
Biden has the best team the DNC can buy but can't figure out a livestream to save their lives.

They are less technically competent than a 15 year old who gets banned from Twitch for railing Adderall on camera and calling the cactus things in Minecraft the n-word.
Best animal: Panda bear. Never horny, usually quiet, have to make a real effort to see one.

Worst animal: Birds. Always horny, spend every waking moment screaming "I'm awake and ready to fuck" in their heathen lingo, can come into your house uninvited and do true chaos.
Real talk: If you had a gorillian dollars and didn't do dumb stuff like naming your baby with cursed runes and random letters then the problem is with you.
Hadokening blasts of pure 5g at your precious grandmas until you reopen Rob's Rib Roost, home of the Mr. Pibb Rib Rack!
You can call me Grandma Killer, because I will not give up building and releasing my terrible robots that hunt down and "neutralize" anything carrying Werther's Originals (or the store brand fakes).

I don't care if you think I'm selfish... I will kill your grandma.

childhood bad move 

My Pleroma instance has been running for a day and has died.

I am the true hero of Mastadon and you WILL treat me as such.

In the red twilight the mountains look like broken teeth. You shiver in the cooling air and move on. You don't look back, you know what's following you. You won't ever get to go home. You won't ever get to see them again. You won't ever get that waffle cone...
The ground turns to water under you. You fall, drowning with lungs full of dirt and concrete. You don't know what changed. Don't know how this happened. You only know you ain't getting that waffle cone.
The sky shatters like a cheap bottle. Vast shards, blue and black, begin their decent. You don't know why it broke. Don't understand what you're supposed to do now. You only know you ain't getting that waffle cone.
Linux: apt-get dist-upgrade intelligently upgrades all existent packages.

Me, after two hours, restoring from an image, and a dozen edits to repository sources, as I quietly close my SSH client like I'm backing away from an end stage Jenga tower: Don't you fucking dare.
Watching AEW and Cody just delivered a dramatic promo from what appears to be a custom gaming chair, because 2020 cannot leave anything whole.
Owning a Linux box is the equivalent of owning a small forest in which a hermit lives, and every month the hermit grows more insane and evil until you have to burn the forest down around them.

Sticky Donut 

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