the fediverse is basically just queers and furries and people from seattle
Corporations aren't people until I'm allowed to kill one under the Castle Doctrine.
Pride is almost over, next month is Greed
Noëlle the 8-Bit🏳️🌈🎄
"Squidward" = "in the direction of the squid"
The Beach Boys never really had the emotional maturity to become Beach Men
I write all my toots with one hand voluntarily behind my back, so as to intimidate my rivals with my confidence
a tired pigeon lands on your window sill. he lights two cigarettes in his beak and offers one to you - -
“you’re not going to like this...
Selfie filters make the whites whiter.
No tattoos and dressing presentably is the new punk
When bae catches you summoning a meteor to get out of a social commitment.
i like peanut butter that wasn't crunchy before i put my finger nails in it
GENIE: 3 dumplings is only 1 wish
ME: [overjoyed] give me 9 dumplings then!
You're not going to win many arguments by making assertions, but you can win a few if you can ask the right questions.
Something i say that's cool but isn't really that cool Show more
sonic the griswold
im back baby
i love that weird twitter has migrated in part to mastodon
I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories
If you're in a pact with more than one person you might be in a cult
Looking forward to the Directors Cut of my life.
